In 2018, as I began exploring the art of macrame, I fell in love with the diamond design that opens in the middle. It wasn’t long until every time I saw this design I thought it looked like a yoni. At that time I hadn’t heard of anyone describing it as such and knew I couldn’t be the only one making this connection.
I’ve dealt with a lot of issues regarding my sexuality and problems with my pelvic floor (all those babies didn’t help). I decided to make a macrame wall hanging to aid in my healing, and so I went with the yoni design (I’ve used this design to depict many different things, including a womb and even vocal chords).
I chose magenta rope because deep pink is my favorite color, and it also seems like an appropriate color for such a project. After finishing the design, I realized it looked a bit off and uneven. I questioned whether I should start over, but felt I should leave it alone. This project was not about excellence and perfection, but about accepting myself as I am and allowing myself to heal however necessary. Besides, there is no “perfect” yoni. My own is deeply scarred from a bad tear while giving birth to my first child, and also very stretched out. It’s uneven, just like the macrame.
I had a hematite stone I wanted to incorporate, as hematite is reportedly a good stone for grounding… and I have a LOT of trouble staying grounded. It happened to be a long stone and I knew it would look perfect hanging in the middle of the open space. My problem was attaching it. I had no idea what to do. I loved the sleek surface of the hematite, but there was no hole or anything to attach it to the macrame. Reluctantly and quite grumpily, I resigned to doing a wire wrap, as it was the only technique I could think to use. It covered up the smooth hematite and I was really bummed about it at first. I chose copper colored wire, as copper is associated with the heart, and I knew I needed to involve my heart in this process. I also added a small rose quartz below the yoni design as another connection to the heart (rose quartz is well known for helping with heart issues).
As a final touch, I added two chicken feathers on the sides. These are from our laying hens, with rusty red and black shades. These felt like grounding colors as well (red and black are associated with the root chakra), and chickens themselves are mostly grounded birds.
Although this wall hanging didn’t turn out quite as I had hoped for, I was really quite happy with the final product. I thought I would hate the wire wrap on the hematite but I ended up loving it. It hung on my wall and I felt that wonderful deep sense of satisfaction of making something I truly enjoy.
However, I felt I was missing something. The piece itself was complete, but there was something about it that I didn’t understand, unable to quite put my finger on it.
Months went by and I felt slightly disappointed that I didn’t really feel I connected with myself while making this macrame. I never spent any real time trying to heal the issue and didn’t even feel terribly motivated to either. I wondered if maybe I just messed up with this wall hanging.
But then one day as I was stretching in my bedroom, I was staring at this wall hanging, and the wire wrapped hematite in particular, and suddenly I had the impression of an ancient battery- the copper coil around the hematite. I sensed it represented some type of power source.
When I received the battery impression, everything fell into place and I understood the deeper meaning of this piece.
Creativity is my power source and it comes to me via my root chakra, in my yoni and through my pelvic floor. Kundalini energy is said to lay coiled like a snake in the root chakra, (like my coiled copper wire around my hematite stone meant to depict the root chakra) and this energy is intense creative life force.
When I’m feeling inspired or connected to something special, I feel the draw on my pelvic floor and my yoni area. This only started happening after my spontaneous kundalini awakening in 2017. It really weirded me out at first because I just assumed that all feelings down there were automatically related to sexuality. I didn’t really understand what was happening. But sexuality is part of the greater creative life force. The two often go hand in hand but my creativity is not exclusively or even mostly expressed sexually. I just feel it stir in the same places.
This creativity is what powers me. It gives me energy and vitality, and it makes life worth living. This is what I was depicting with this macrame wall hanging. It’s about being connected to the power source of creativity which lies in my yoni and pelvic floor.
As it turns out, I’ve had this post sitting in my drafts folder for a year. I’m finally getting around to finishing it and posting it. The timing must now be right, which is appropriate for what’s happening in my life right now. In recent months I’ve discovered that my entire pelvic floor (and belly) is exhaustedly tense all the time. In the last month I’ve finally figured out how to naturally relax it (which might be why I had almost no cramping during my most recent period, my first one since getting pregnant two years ago).
After all this time, I feel like I’m FINALLY starting to connect with and heal this area of my body. I look forward to how this continued healing affects all other areas of my life, including my sexuality and especially my own creativity.
I can’t imagine ever selling this macrame piece. It’s not the most fancy or impressive, but it is the most personal. I find it so simple and so beautiful. It reminds me to keep releasing my tensions and old fears and to both ground into my body and open to her wisdom and creativity.