Last year I created a pair of macrame wings inspired by my “long dark night of the soul”/spiritual awakening, and my relationship to the owl. I’ve titled it “Wings of the Night”.
In 2017, I experienced a spontaneous kundalini awakening, and this massive shift in consciousness forced me to deconstruct everything I thought I knew and believed. I had experiences and impressions that I described as the obliteration of my existence (better known as a type of ego death). I felt as though I had fallen into the outer reaches of the universe, completely dark with no gravity. Just floating in nothingness.
Before these jarring experiences occurred, I had a few run-ins with owls. I felt these appearances were profound and symbolic somehow, and I eventually discovered how the owl was more or less a guide for me during my darkness. Owls are nocturnal and know how to navigate in the dark. They have also been revered as symbols of wisdom. I needed the clear vision, guidance, and wisdom of the owl to make it through my dark night, and owls have continued to reveal themselves to me during difficult times.
These macrame wings are representative of my journey and the ability to navigate in darkness and unknowing.
I chose a shade of indigo string to construct the wings for a couple reasons. This particular shade of indigo is dark and reminds me very much of the mystical potential of the night hours. It even has specks of other colors woven into the string, which speaks it’s own wisdom – what we perceive as dark and empty is actually quite pregnant with life and possibility. The color indigo is also associated with the third eye chakra, which is symbolic of spiritual sight.
I decided to construct a web inside the hoop, and chose black thread. Whenever I create these webs (iconic feature of dreamcatchers) I use them to symbolize the web of life, the interconnectedness of all things. I’ve also used webs to represent a womb. For this piece, I created this web to represent my own passage from spiritual darkness into light, a type of spiritual rebirth from the womb of existence.
I usually place a bead or crystal in the center of the webs I create, but in this instance I purposely left it blank. This is to represent the true feelings of absolute oblivion and emptiness that often accompany the deconstruction of the ego. There is no point to fixate on, nothing to grasp. You’re free-floating.
This lack of gravity and point of reference can be terrifying, yes, but if you can surrender to your own unknowing, you can find yourself again, a more authentic version of yourself that is based upon timeless truth rather than the biased judgments of the conditioned ego.
I chose a labradorite stone to complete the piece. When I saw labradorite for the first time, I was immediately drawn to it. I was coming to the end of my initial existential crisis and this stone seemed to call out to me. I bought one, and holding it in my palm inspired some pretty fantastical mental visions and journeys. It seemed to help pull me from the utter darkness and open my mind to wonderful possibilities.
I truly love this small wall hanging. It took months of work on and off to finally complete it. I finished it on the summer solstice (2019), the longest day of the year, which felt profound- the contrast of long dark night symbolism against the long bright day of summer.
This is another piece I thought I would keep for a long time, but I now feel that someone else needs its deep medicine. I don’t suspect I will ever make another one, so this is truly a unique piece. It is available for purchase in my Etsy shop: